


Hallelujah (Kankri x Abused!Reader)

by remembertheginger



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-25
Updated: 2013-09-15
Packaged: 2017-12-24 13:54:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/940746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remembertheginger/pseuds/remembertheginger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your flushcrush and best friend, Kankri, has no idea about your living conditions at home... until you miss your library outing with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hallelujah

Shaking at the bruise your mother’s hand left on your cheek, trying not to think about your flushcrush, you hide yourself under your sheets. Maybe if you sleep and lock the door, you’ll never have to come out again.

***

Your name is (f/n), and you hate your family. Your father works all day so that he doesn’t have to deal with your mother, and your mother... well, she’s abusive. She’ll insult you in anything and everything you do, and when you mess something up, she hits you. She drinks too much, and so while most of the time she hits and pinches where it’ll leave a mark no one will see, occasionally she’ll hit you somewhere you can’t hide, and that’s when you have to wear makeup. Most of your shirts are long-sleeved, and you never go anywhere without a jacket, making you look just as cold as your flushcrush--- Kankri Vantas.

The awful truth is that you have fallen for the celibate. Even if he wasn't, there's still the whole issue that he's a troll, and you're merely human. How many times have you wished you had been born in their universe? Somewhere you would have a kind mother, a father who cared.

A knock at your door makes you curl towards the wall. Your mother never knocks, which means it's probably your father. "Go away," you call hoarsely, voice rough and choked on tears.

There's a pause for a moment before a familiar tenor answers, "My apologies, I only wanted to see that you are alright, as you missed our outing. And, though I cannot see you at the moment, you do not appear to be alright. May I come in?"

Oh dear god. It's not your father, it's Kankri. And you missed the library outing with him thanks to your mother's sneers at the dishes and punishment. Slowly pushing yourself to standing and wincing at everything that aches, you unlock the door, opening it for the turtleneck-clad troll.

Immediately, his eyes settle on your face, the yellow and gray widening at the bruise that is oh so evident, and the clear streaks running down your skin, tears dripping off your chin. "(f/n), what happened to you? You have an awful bruise and it looks as though you may have a black eye as well, not to mention you're crying!"

"I-I'm fine," you sniff, hastily brushing away the warmth and wincing again as you rub up against your cheek just a bit too hard. "It's nothing, really."

Kankri bites his lip, clearly deciding on something difficult. Finally, he closes the door and locks it, gently wrapping an arm around your shoulder and sitting down on the bed with you. "I am terribly sorry if I triggered you with that gesture, but I feel it is necessary in what we are going to talk about. (f/n)," he tilts your head up to look from the floor to him. "Please tell me what happened. I am concerned and I know that you are lying when you say it was nothing."

You are not going to break down and tell him. Your mother would kill you, she has threatened it before, and besides, it's only two more years until you can get out of this hellhole. "Honestly, Kankri. It's nothing that hasn't happened before." At least that isn't a lie.

He narrows his eyes, something you don't see very often. "Then I am going to have to make assumptions. If you would at least tell me if they are correct, it would make this much easier. I am going to refrain from tagging triggers for the moment, as you are clearly very distraught, and that could and most likely would upset you more than you are right now."

"Sure," you nod a bit, bringing your gaze back to the ground. Rubbing your sleeved arm, you don't look at your fair hand. It's hard to sleep when you're worrying about the next day, leaving you pale, with dark circles under your eyes. Another reason for makeup.

"You have never invited me over to your hive," Kankri begins; if he's looking at you, you don't know. Nor do you want to. "Which has always led me to believe it is undesirable to be in, or uncomfortable for you. Your mother-lusus has proved that to be correct. Next, you wear long-sleeved shirts and-or jackets in the even dead of summer, even when you have explicitly told me you are not cold. This makes me think you have something on your arms you wish to hide. Is this true?"

Taking a deep breath, you say as quietly as you can, "Yes."

"I shall infer myself what this would be, as I already have an idea. I have suspected for a long time now, and I will apologize in advance if this triggers you in any way--- you know I would never purposefully trigger you, or anybody--- but I am truly very concerned for you," you can feel the mutant-blood's gaze burning on you, willing you to glance at him and see just how worried his face is. You don't look up. "(f/n), are you... cutting?"

You actually laugh, a bit bitterly, at how far from the truth that is. "Christ, Kankri, no. I would never do that." Finally finding the courage to roll up your sleeve, you reveal the bruises littered across your forearm, some more recent and therefore more visible. "This is what I'm not allowed to show."

A quiet intake of breath through his pointed teeth lets you know that he's shocked. "Excuse any language that may occur, but who would ever do this to you? This is unacceptable! This, quite simply, should never have happened! My god, (f/n), please let me help you!"

"There's not a lot you can do," you say sadly. Your eyes then widen. "Kankri, if my mother finds out I've told you, she'll just make things worse."

"Your lusus is doing this to you?" Kankri's eyes blaze and he stands, searching for something before grabbing your large backpack and emptying it of your school supplies. "Pack your belongings, (f/n). You're not staying another minute in this hive. You can move in with me; I am sure it will not be a problem."

You stare at him. "K-Kankri, I..." It's only another moment before you go to your closet, beginning to put your favorite clothing into the bag. Your flushcrush goes to the door, unlocking it and walking out; somehow, he manages to look like he's composed as he would be normally, confronting your mother in the living room. Though you can't hear exactly what they're saying, it doesn't sound good, your female parental unit raising her voice almost immediately. By the time you're finished packing your sketchbook and a couple of pencils, and going to get your toiletries, you're worried for Kankri. You're hasty in your gathering of this, coming out and slinging the backpack over your shoulder.

Staring at you with a fire in her eyes, your mom shoves Kankri away from her. "You little bitch!" She slurs, slapping you with the back of her hand. "Ungrateful whore, I am the one who feeds and shelters you!" Another slap, to the other cheek, this time with fingers curled and sharp nails raking across the skin; you can feel warmth, warmer and a thicker liquid than the tears of earlier, immediately begin to well. You don't bother putting a hand to your cheek. You know more is coming.

So when you see the blow descending towards your head, you're outright astonished when you feel nothing. Kankri has stepped in front of you, grabbing your mother's arms to keep her from doing anything to you. "Ms. (l/n)," he says firmly. "I am taking (f/n) with me to come live with me. If you attempt to stop me I will call the police with a report of sixteen years of child abuse. Is that clear?"

She stares at him for a long moment before slumping back; Kankri releases her, and she makes her way to the couch, allowing her weight to drop as she takes a seat and putting her forehead in her hand. You almost pity her, but then the pain of your cheek comes, and your pity is gone. The red-blooded troll gently takes your hand, leading you to the door, which he opens. Somehow, you can't help but look back one last time.

"My hive isn't too far from here," Kankri is saying, and you turn your attention to him, hearing the door click shut behind the two of you. "I suppose I should consider myself fortunate that I decided to pay you a visit rather than call, as the latter would have been much less effective. This does explain quite a bit, though."

You're not really paying attention as he continues. Normally, the sound of your flush crush's voice would be enough to keep your mind on him, but the realization that you are finally free is distracting you quite a bit.

"(f/n)? Did I trigger you?" Kankri asks, clearly pausing what was probably a long speech.

"No, but I'm sorry if this triggers you--- I wasn't really paying attention," you cringe, prepared for the blow you will probably receive. Then you remember it's Kankri you're talking to, and hit yourself mentally for flinching like that.

He bites his lip, another difficult decision in the making. "We're almost at my hive. We can get you cleaned up, and you'll be able to sleep soundly." Somehow, he restrains himself from saying more than that, instead quickening his pace. You can see his house now, you've walked to it many a time, and you speed up as well to keep up with him. As Kankri unlocks the door, you look around the familiar area.

"Welcome home, (f/n)."


	2. Broken Resistance

Murderous, flashing eyes. A sharp pinch to the upper arm, cutting through the long-sleeved shirt being worn and leaving a mark that won't go away for months. A jab at the stomach, doubling over, trying not to let dinner come spilling out.

You wake to a scream echoing down the hall, realizing an instant later that it's your own. Immediately, you flinch and cower under the sheets, terrified that your mother will come in shrieking at you to shut your god-forsaken mouth, nails at the ready. Then you finger the sheets again, remembering you never have to see her again.

A figure silhouetted by the dim hall light is opening the door, flicking your own lights on and revealing it to be Kankri. "(f/n), are you alright? I don't mean to trigger you, as you well know, but this is the second time I have woken up to you screaming recently! I am worried for your mental health. You still don't seem to be sleeping well, and while normally, I would not take too much note of this, it has been nearly a month. Don't you feel safe?"

"Of course I do," you smile shakily, sitting up so that he can actually see you and your face. "I trust you, Kankri. It's just..." At this, you shiver slightly. "Memories sometimes turn into nightmares."

In one swift movement, he's sitting next to you, pulling you into a hug. This makes you blush fiercely; you've never seen Kankri hug anyone. He's celibate, and even if he weren't, you would think he would be afraid of triggering someone by doing this.

"Warning, triggers may include, but are not limited to: personal space invasion, attempts at comforting, mentions of abuse," and there he goes, tagging the triggers--- a habit you're trying to get him out of. "You're safe, (f/n). I promise. You don't have to hide around me."

You don't usually cry, the years of pain have made you fairly resistant to it, but the memory of the feelings of your nightmare combined with Kankri being so sweet? This is breaking your resistance entirely. You give a hiccuping sob, burying your face in his shoulder. "I love you, Kankri."

His eyes widen. Is it possible? Could he have heard that right? But surely you mean only as a friend.

Oh shit. Did you really just say that out loud? Maybe he didn't notice, maybe he thinks you're just distraught and is paying no heed to it.

He pulls out of the hug. "(f/n), would you repeat that? I'm afraid I didn't hear you correctly and I wish to refrain from making assumptions or saying anything on the matter until I have confirmation that I did indeed mishear you. Or, there is always the slim chance that I heard correctly? Usually, my oral sponge artifices are near impeccable, but this seems like a matter too important to jump to conclusions on," Kankri takes a breath, probably only to pause his speech, but you start speaking before he can continue.

"Trigger warning: interruption," you say, wiping the tears from your eyes as you look at the floor. That's become your typical passive stance when you have something important to say, wishing you could disappear and retract the statement entirely. When you speak, you make sure that you talk clearly. "I said I love you, Kankri Vantas."

You don't want to look up and see the pity that's sure to be written on his face, but Kankri hesitantly puts a hand on your shoulder. "(f/n), I am still not quite sure how this is going to work, but I will do my best to explain. I am willing to break my vows of celibacy for you, and I suppose we are both lucky that I have taken the time to study the human concept of love. I will reciprocate your confession with something of my own, more fitted for the troll society: I am a brilliant shade of red for you, a crimson deeper than you can imagine. I don't know how long this has been, but I know that it is the case."

Staring up at Kankri now, you hang onto his every word. He'll break his vow of celibacy for you? He's flushed for you? This is so much better than you could have hoped for!

"However," this word catches, making the both of you wince. "I don't know that a romance between a troll and a human has ever been attempted before. If it has, there are no records, or they are stored somewhere I have never been able to access, as I'm certain that would be a fascinating topic to read about. That subject aside, I don't know how this is going to work."

"Kankri, we're both young," you smile a bit. "As long as we don't get into... um... pailing... I think it should be fine."

The mutant-blood looks relieved. "I'm glad you agree on that matter. In that case, I am more than happy to be able to call you my matesprit."


End file.
